Resources for Missionary Recruits Online by Marty Andry, Doug Lucas, and Chris Bushnell

Chapter 8 Being the Best You Can Be

Who are you?

Missionaries come in all shapes and sizes. Contrary to what many average churchgoers think, the missionary is not some higher form of life or any more special than anyone else. Although it may be true that he is called to a special task, a missionary is a human being, which is a great thing to be. But we are not flawless. We all have our "little quirks." Some of these idiosyncrasies are not too important and some, if not kept in check, may be the factor that makes or breaks a missionary's ministry.

As it has been said, "You never have a second chance to make a first impression." Making good impressions will be a major factor in the success of a potential missionary from the first day that the recruit begins to raise support and continues on as an important factor as the missionary begins to work in evangelism.

At a glance this area of personal characteristics may seem insignificant. But think about the job of a missionary. It is always a relational job. Dealing with people is at the very heart of reaching the lost. Yet if people don't like the missionary, he will not be able to build relationships with them. It is important to remember that we all relate to people differently and we won't always naturally get along perfectly. It will take work.

Perhaps Paul gave us a deep insight that gets to the heart of the issue of relating to people personally:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." In other words, be considerate! Philippians 2: 3.

I know a young man who could be described in one word: obnoxious. He is one of the most talented men I have ever met but thus far his talent has been virtually wasted because he has problems relating to people. He is inconsiderate. Once when I was at the end of my rope with him I confronted him about it. His answer (as always) was, "That's just the way I am." What a novel excuse. But don't we all rationalize it this way?

I wonder what Nathan the prophet would have said to King David if David had responded to the accusation about his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba with a nonchalant, "Sorry, that's just the way I am." Poor Judas, that was just the "way he was." It is a problem being the way we are,but we can change and learn to be considerate of other people. Paul didn't say, "If you're the kind of person who can do it, consider others better than yourselves."

Being considerate and relating well to people really manifests itself in very small things. Here are a few suggestions:

Be all you are

What is integrity? The word comes from the mathematical term integer. An integer is a whole number. A person with integrity is a person who is not divided. A person of integrity does the things he says he will do. He strives to always fulfill the tasks he will perform. If he does not have time or knows it is beyond his abilities to do something, he will refuse to take on the responsibility.

A person of integrity always does his best. He is honorable; he is true to himself. A person with integrity listens to his conscience. Martin Luther said as he was faced with persecution, "It is neither safe nor prudent to do aught against conscience. Here I stand; God help me, I cannot do otherwise."

Integrity means "being faithful in the small things." It is doing what is right whether or not anyone will notice and not doing what is wrong even if you know that you will never be caught. [Arthur Gordon, A Touch of Wonder (Old Tappan, New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1972), 201-205.] How often missionaries are faced with decisions of these kinds in countries where ethical standards are not the same as ours or where ethical standards are non-biblical.

In Shakespeare's Hamlet, as Laertes was leaving for college in far away Paris, his father, Polonius, advised him about being a man of integrity. His words still speak to us today." This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man."

The bottom line of integrity is trustworthiness. Building trust between you and others is vital in being a successful missionary. You must learn to build trust with every one from potential supporters to potential converts. You can start doing this by asking "the prior question of trust." [Marvin K. Mayers, Christianity Confronts Culture, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1974), 32.]

In other words, is what I am about to do going to build trust or tear down any trust that is already built? Put yourself in the other person's shoes and remember that we all have a different perspective. Few things are black and white. When potential supporters trust you, they will be a real encouragement. When you have built trust with nationals, they will begin to open their lives to you.

Always be prompt

What is more frustrating than having to wait on someone, especially a speaker. When you have an appointment, take measures to insure that you will appear on time. Allow time for surprises such as breakdowns and traffic jams. Respect the time of others. (This includes not taking unnecessary amounts of time in appointments. )

Write things down

Few people can remember everything without a jog to the memory. Get attached to a pocket calendar or date book that works for you. When someone asks you for information and you promise to send it, write it down. Then do it. You send a signal to the person that he is important enough for you to make a note to remember him. If you aren't dependable, people will soon know it. [Remeber that in some cultures, however, writing down the appointment in front of the person might be an insult." Am I so unimportant to him that he needs a note to remember our meeting?"]

Acknowledge all gifts and contributions

I am a loyal reader of Ann Landers. It is amazing how often people write in to complain about never receiving acknowledgment for a gift. It may seem vain for a person to expect a note of thanks for a gift, but it is actually very natural. Sending a thank-you note first of all says, "I received what you sent me, and it is appreciated." It's very simple. Imagine a grandmother sending a gift across the country to a grandchild. If the child fails to acknowledge it, the poor lady may wonder if it got lost in the mail. A thank-you says, "I appreciate what you did for me." Remember that contributions are more than money and things. People may have contributed time and hard work for you.

Always thank people in writing. Although a simple "Thank you" spoken is nice, a written note tells the person that you appreciated the gift enough to take the time to write a note. A note of appreciation need not be long and flowery. Sometimes it is better to be short and to the point. Again, write down every contribution and contributor so that you will remember to thank the right people for the right gift.

Have a sense of humor

"A merry heart is like a medicine," says Proverbs. No one is in more need of a good sense of humor than the missionary. Remember that you are a stranger in a strange land. But to the nationals you are "stranger." You will be laughed at every day. When you are trying to learn the language, the nationals will laugh and you won't be amused in the least. An old timer gave me some helpful advice: "Remember they're not laughing with you; they're laughing at you." You will have to learn to laugh at yourself as well.

You are in a serious business but don't take yourself so seriously. Have at least one good "belly laugh" every day. Read humorous material. Laughter has been proven to be beneficial to the health. Have a friend at home send comics, jokes, and anecdotes through the mail. Keep smiling! L. Robert Kohls, in his book, Survival Kit for Overseas Living identifies the ability to laugh as the "ultimate weapon against despair." [L. Robert Kohls, Survival Kit for Overseas Living (Yarmouth, Maine: Intercultural Press, 1984), 73.] This book is a must for your preparation.

Be flexible

A missionary's life is full of surprises. It seems that he lives from one unexpected event to another, from the very first day of support-raising to furlough time. He may have to wait several months to receive a visa before he even leaves the homeland. Once he gets to the field, he may find that arrangements for housing had not gone as planned.

In fact sometimes nothing goes as planned. It is imperative that the missionary recruit learns to be flexible at all times. Perhaps that is what Paul was telling us when he said, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." If a missionary does not learn to "go with the flow" and be flexible, he will break.

Americans hardly ever completely blend in with their new culture. They can be picked out of a crowd from a mile away. This does not mean that we should not try to blend in more. Many times it is the small things that make a difference, things that you will probably have to learn on your own through careful observation. You can learn to be a good observer. Here are some do's and don'ts in adjusting to a new culture: [Virginia McKay, Moving Abroad: A Guide to International Living (VLM Enterprises, 1982), 94-95.]

Be slow to judge. Maybe you don't understand yet.
Never complain about the host country.
Remember you are the visitor. It is you who must adapt.
Be sensitive to cultural and social standards of behavior.
Be careful not to "go native." You won't be.
Don't call the nationals "natives."
Don't compare your host country to your homeland.
Try new things: food, activities, etc.
Recognize and share frustrations about the new culture. Don't let them build up inside.

We have all developed certain habits of behavior. Some are good and some are not. Take a look at your personality for a moment. Or if possible have a close friend tell you your good qualities, so that you can maximize them, and some negative qualities, so that you can improve them.

Do you have integrity? Remember that it is the small things that often show who you really are.

Do people trust you? Do you give them reason to put confidence in you?

Do you take yourself too seriously? Are you flexible or do you fold when things don't go as planned? To be the best servant you can be, you need to be the best you that you can be. According to the Bible, that means putting the interests of others first.

Getting physically prepared

One of the greatest fears of people here at home are fears about living situations overseas. In some ways these fears are blown out of proportion and in others they are valid. Regardless of the situation in a particular country, the missionary must take care to be in top physical condition. In fact some mission agencies will require a physical examination before accepting an applicant.

Of course by visiting your field before actually going on a full-time basis, you will know better what to expect. If a survey trip is not possible, contact missionaries currently in the field to find out. A good guide for preparing to travel and live overseas is Passport's Health Guide for International Travelers [Thomas P. Sanker, et. al . (Lincolnwood, IL: Passport Books, 1986. )] It discusses common diseases in detail, immunizations required for certain countries, traveling, medical problems, and returning home.

Of course you will want to keep in top physical condition. The best way to keep from getting sick is to stay physically fit. That means getting enough exercise, rest, and recreation. The rigors of living overseas often require one to be in better physical condition than if he stayed in the States.

Being a missionary is not an easy occupation. It requires a person to be more well rounded with a wider scope of talents and abilities, while at the same time be specialized in certain areas. With over half of the world's population in need of evangelizing, it is vital that we send out missionaries not only in quantity, but even more importantly in quality, prepared spiritually, emotionally, personally, academically and physically to be the best servants they can be.

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